


deserve

by oakleaf_bearer



Series: scottish safehouse fics [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), Sharing a Bed, Touch-Starved, lowkey angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleaf_bearer/pseuds/oakleaf_bearer
Summary: jon wants cuddles but doesn't know how to askmartin wants cuddles but doesn't know how to take
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: scottish safehouse fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912657
Comments: 35
Kudos: 458





	deserve

"You know, I always used to want to move to the countryside."

Martin tore his gaze away from the hedgerow lining the narrow road. "Really?"

Jon hummed. "I grew up in Bournemouth. From an early age I learned to hate tourists. Oxford wasn't much better, and London was far worse. The countryside felt like a nice break." 

"Wouldn't it interfere with your academic sensibilities? You can't spend every second at the library if the closest one is several towns over." 

He chuckled. "I think I would survive. I've seen enough of academia to last several lifetimes."

"Yeah, me too." Martin sighed. 

Jon desperately wanted to reach over and put a hand on Martin's arm. He wanted to curl his fingers into Martin's sleeve and hold it tight. He wanted to pull over and stop the car and lean across the space between them and-

_ I really loved you, you know?  _

Jon didn't move. Martin deserved infinitely more than Jon's desperate attempt to hold onto the  something he had felt between them before the Unknowing. 

"Hey, stop it." Martin's gentle voice startled him out of his introspection. "Whatever you're thinking about, don't." 

"How did you know I was thinking about anything?" 

"You had the look." 

"The look?"

"Yeah." Martin shifted in his seat. "You get a look when you're overthinking things." 

Jon frowned. 

"There you go, that look." 

"That wasn't a look." 

Martin hummed. "It looked like a look." 

Jon fought down a smile, keeping his eyes on the road. "I promise you it wasn't." 

The sound of Martin's chuckle was a comforting warmth, circling it way around Jon's heart. 

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. 

' _ Careful _ ,' the small voice inside his heart told him. ' _Don't make this harder than it already is._ '

-

The cabin was small, just shy of comforting. The wallpaper was faded and old, nothing like what Jon expected from Daisy. He resisted the urge to Know if there were any bodies under the floorboards.

Jon headed for the kitchen as Martin went to explore the rest of the cabin. 

Jon examined the appliances, carefully checking for faulty wiring and dodgy connections. Finding nothing, he filled the kettle and set it boiling. He fished out the box of tea they had grabbed from Martin's flat. 

He set about making two cups of tea. He was out of practice, used to waiting for the mugs to appear on his desk, lovingly brewed to perfection by careful hands. 

This tea was.... mediocre, at best. Jon hadn't let it sit long enough and he hadn't put enough milk in. He'd have to ask Martin to show him how to do it properly. 

"Jon." Martin was quiet. Jon hadn't heard him come into the small kitchen. 

"Hey." Jon tried to match his gentle tone. "Did you find anything interesting?" 

"There's one bed." 

_ Ah.  _

_Well then_. 

"You take it. I'm very much used to sleeping on sofas at this point." 

"No, Jon. You've been living in the archives for months, you deserve the bed." 

_Deserve_. 

Jon was starting to hate that word.

"Martin, I can handle a few more nights on a sofa. We'll get an air mattress or something when we go into the village. Here." He held out the mug of tea. 

Their fingers didn't quite brush as Martin took it, a centimetre of space still between them, but Jon felt the buzz all the way up his arm to his shoulder nonetheless. 

They drank their tea in silent companionship. Before long, Martin was yawning. 

"I'm going to go take a shower. You take the bed. Don't argue with me on this, Jon." He placed his mug in the sink, arm mere inches away from Jon's, and then he was gone. 

Jon listened for the sounds of the shower running, not moving until he heard the water hitting the tile. 

He moved to the bedroom, opening the linen closet and pulling out the bedding. He worked quickly, putting the sheets on the bed, tucking the pillowcases over the pillows, smoothing down a blanket over it. Satisfied, he took the spare blankets to the living room.

Jon sat down on the sofa, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders just as Martin came out of the bathroom, a small billow of steam trailing after him. He looked over at Jon where he was huddled on the sofa. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Getting ready for bed." 

"You're in here." 

Jon chuckled. "Yes I am, Martin." 

Martin huffed. "You were going to take the bed."

"You said not to argue with you on it, so I didn't. Go to bed." 

Martin looked like he wanted to argue, but Jon turned away, fluffing one of the embroidered pillows. By the time he looked back up, Martin was shutting the door to the bedroom behind him. 

-

Jon rolled over, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Every way he turned, a spring was waiting to dig into the gap in his ribs. He'd never been the tallest, Tim had once called him 'pocket-sized', and yet the blanket was still too short to cover all of him with any efficiency, and the sofa was too narrow to effectively curl up. 

After a few minutes of frustrated rolling, he gave up, pushing himself up to sit, flopped against the back of the sofa, sighing deeply. 

The bedroom door creaked open. Martin stood, silhouetted against the dim lamplight. 

"Come to bed." 

_Bed_. Jon's heart beat increased. It was painfully domestic in a way that Jon didn't deserve. He didn't deserve Martin's gentle offer.

"I don't want to intrude." 

"You won't. It's too quiet on my own." 

"Martin-" 

"I want you there." 

Jon stared at him. With the only light being the lamp behind Martin, Jon couldn't make out his expression. 

After a long moment, Jon sighed. He rolled off the sofa and onto his feet, padding over to the bedroom. 

Martin lay back down, flipping the corner of the cover open for Jon. After a moment, he knelt down on the edge of the bed and crawled under the duvet. 

The space between them felt like a chasm, gaping and dangerous. One wrong move and Jon would fall and ruin everything.

_ Don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve.  _

Jon tried to tamp down the rebellious part of his brain that said  _ maybe, possibly, could it be- _

Martin stared at him. His curls were tangled around his ears and Jon wanted nothing more than to smooth them down. 

Jon looked away. He couldn't bear to see the way Martin's eyes caught the lamplight, or the way he tucked one arm under his pillow, or the way his lips twisted in a half smile, or the way-

"Jon, look at me."

Jon looked. 

"Come here." 

Jon went like he had been magnetised, pulled into Martin's orbit. They didn't slot together like a puzzle, their knees bumped and Jon almost put his elbow into Martin's ribs. Martin's chin was a little too sharp against the top of his head, and Jon knew his limbs were too skinny to offer any real comfort as he wrapped them around Martin's middle. 

Nonetheless, it felt like belonging. It felt like being set on fire and doused with water all at once. Martin hugged him close, all encompassing and present and real. One hand against his back, one arm around his waist, his thigh on top of Jon's hip, his shin against Jon's heel, his heart beating inches away from Jon's ear. 

Jon felt tears seep out of the corners of his eyes, soaking into Martin's pyjama shirt. 

This felt right. He could deserve this. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hugged my friend the other day and nearly started crying bc i missed hugs so much 
> 
> come find me on tumblr @illbefunnylater or @oakleaf--bearer for my writing blog  
> or on insta @statement_boo_gins, where i post daily tma content 
> 
> comments and kudos keep me writing, pls leave some


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